Thursday, December 9, 2010

Flatulent Bears (Transcript) For the Deaf

I noticed there were no closed captioned subtitles for deaf people so I have transcribed the audio from the viral YouTube video "JP Morgan Silver Manipulation Explained" for deaf day traders.

The transcript of the above video is as follows:
The tan colored bear in the cartoon speaks with a North American mid-western accent and the clueless Brown Bear speaks with a British accent.  One or both of the bears has a spastic colon.

Tan Bear:Hey, wanna know some insider info?
Brown Bear:Sure, but I know the Goldman Sack only gets the insider info?
Tan Bear:Yeah they do, but I have something that you can bet the farm on that I got from a trader at the Goldman Sack. I'm blowing the whistle on the JP Morgue. [whistle noise]
Brown Bear:A sure thing?
Tan Bear:Yup, listen closely.  The Fed has been using the JP Morgue as its proxy for flooding the silver market with unbacked naked short orders.
Brown Bear:[Unintelligible] What's a naked short order, and why should I care?
Tan Bear:A naked short order is when the JP Morgue borrows silver they never had and sells it on the open markets.
Brown Bear:So...The JP Morgue is selling silver they never had.  Big deal.  Doesn't this happen every day?
Tan Bear:Sure it does but listen closely...Can you run with your pants down?
Brown Bear:No.
Tan Bear:The JP Morgue's pants are down right around its ankles right now, and they are trying to run a marathon.
Brown Bear:I don't understand [shaking head]?
Tan Bear:For a while now the fraudulent Ben Bernank of the Federal Reserve and the J Dimon of the JP Morgue have been collaborating to make billions in the silver market. [cash register noise KA-CHING!]
Brown Bear:Is the Ben Bernank and Dimon married?
Tan Bear:Yes [obnoxious grunt noise HUUUUUHHHH!] but not as homosexuals.  It's worse than that.  They are married to skin the sheeple again.
Brown Bear:What are sheeple?
Tan Bear:People that invest like sheep, that usually get slaughtered.
Brown Bear:I see.
Tan Bear:The Ben Bernank uses the JP Morgue as its proxy to short the silver markets for obvious reasons.
Brown Bear:I am stupid; it is not obvious to me.
Tan Bear:Were you dropped on your head as a baby?
Brown Bear:No.
Tan Bear:Nothing can be worse than the rising silver price to The Ben Bernank.
Brown Bear:Why?
Tan Bear:The higher the silver goes, the more worthless the paper fiat money is, that The Ben Bernank prints for free.
Brown Bear:The Ben Bernank prints money for free?
Tan Bear:Yes.  The Federal Reserve Act was signed on Christmas Eve while everyone was waiting for Santa Claus.
Brown Bear:Who cares?  It's still part of the Federal government.
Tan Bear:The "Federal" in Federal Reserve is no more federal than the shipping company Federal Express.
Brown Bear:What's this have to do with silver?
Tan Bear:The Ben Bernank's enemy is a rising silver price.  It makes his worthless pieces of paper called legal tender Federal Reserve notes less valuable.
Brown Bear:When can I make money, I'm getting bored here.
Tan Bear:Hold on sheep I am getting there.  When the Ben Bernank Fed needs to keep the price of silver down he calls his marriage partner J Dimon at the JP Morgue and gives him some paper.  The JP Morgue then uses this paper to short the silver market when The Ben Bernank gets paranoid.
Brown Bear:This seems like Disneyland.
Tan Bear:Hold on sheep the punchlines are coming.
Brown Bear:Good I bored.
Tan Bear:The 5000 year historical gold to silver ratio is 16:1.  Gold is now at $1400 an ounce.  What should silver be trading at?
Brown Bear:Let me think...Somewhere around $80 methinks?
Tan Bear:Silver is trading at $25 right now.
Brown Bear:I am interested now.
Tan Bear:Now listen to me closely here is the punchline.  The JP Morgue is short over 40% of the net contracts.  But they aren't short the actual physical silver bars and coins.  They are short the paper contracts.  If they had to buy and cover their naked short contracts in the open market it would take 3 months in a normal flat-priced market to do so.
Brown Bear:So what happens when people find out they have been The Ben Bernank's proxy, and start buying silver to revert back to the 16:1 ratio?
Tan Bear:Well, you can't run with your pants around your ankles right?
Brown Bear:No?  Is this a big deal?
Tan Bear:This is the biggest deal since the November General Motors IPO
Brown Bear:[punctuated obnoxious flatulence noise BRRRAAAAPPP!] I am not bored any more.
Tan Bear:I haven't even told you anything yet.  They hold the physical silver bars in London and have been leasing them out.
Brown Bear:Can I lease them?
Tan Bear:No you are a sheep.  The open interest activity as of the fall of 2010 has been indicating there is no silver at the COMEX and it is getting very low because the smart money is withdrawing the silver at an alarming rate. [loud alarming buzzer noise BUZZZZZ!]
Brown Bear:I'm connecting the dots now.
Tan Bear:Here is the insider info.  There is a group of traders in London who are going to start to accumulate and buy silver contracts.
Brown Bear:Won't The Ben Bernank just give more fake money to The JP Morgue to short?
Tan Bear:They can't, the JP Morgue is under investigation by the CFTC and has been sued by class action lawsuits for silver manipulation.
Brown Bear:I'm not bored anymore.
Tan Bear:The JP Morgue recently called his friends at the CME because silver prices were skyrocketing to $29 which was 30 year highs.
Brown Bear:What did he JP Morgue tell them?
Tan Bear:They told them to raise the margin requirements by 30 percent.
Brown Bear:I feel like I'm in Disneyland.
Tan Bear:This stopped the price of silver immediately and retracted 10 percent in two hours.
Brown Bear:How serious is this problem?
Tan Bear:Well let me explain what will happen.  COMEX default generates a short squeeze, then physical silver spot prices jumps dramatically.  Pick any multiple.  Major banks, hedge funds who have naked short positions will be killed.  Losses will be in the tens of billions, and possibly trillions.  Ability to purchase physical silver will be extremely difficult if not impossible.  Banks or countries may be forced to start hording physical silver.
Brown Bear:The sh*t will hit the fan?
Tan Bear:This will make the 2008 financial crisis look like a cakewalk.
Brown Bear:Am I dreaming?
Tan Bear:No.
Brown Bear:So let me get this straight...The JP Morgue is actually short more paper contracts than actual silver rounds is in existence?
Tan Bear:Yes.
Brown Bear:The Asians are figuring this out?
Tan Bear:Yes.
Brown Bear:Once they start buying the JP Morgue will have to start buying back?
Tan Bear:Yes.
Brown Bear:Once the JP Morgue starts buying back, and pushing the price higher people will run on the COMEX and demand their physical silver?
Tan Bear:Yes.
Brown Bear:When they run on the COMEX and figure out there is not any physical silver their sh*t will hit the fan?
Tan Bear:Yes, diarrhea. [obnoxious flatulence noise BRRRAAAAPPPPP!]
Brown Bear:So when the sheeps' feces is smeared on their faces this will be bad?
Tan Bear:Extremely.
Brown Bear:Can this bankrupt all currencies in a matter of months?
Tan Bear:Days.
Brown Bear:What is the probability of this actually happening?
Tan Bear:It's already happening; the tipping point is near.  Do you want to bankrupt the JP Morgue?
Brown Bear:Yes.
Tan Bear:Start buying silver coins and bars.
Brown Bear:Can I buy the SLV exchange traded fund on the New York Stock Exchange?
Tan Bear:No.  Guess who the custodian is for that ETF?
Brown Bear:Your mother?
Tan Bear:The JP Morgue.
Brown Bear:You have to be kidding me?
Tan Bear:Buy as much physical silver as you can.
Brown Bear:I feel like the JP Morgue is balls deep in this one.
Tan Bear:That's what she said.
Brown Bear:On a scale of 1 to 10 how does this rank in terms of biggest financial fraud cases?
Tan Bear:This is the biggest scam in the history of monetary civilization.  Is this enough insider info for you?
Brown Bear:I'm about to have a spastic colon.
Tan Bear:Start by looking at
Brown Bear:What?
Tan Bear:You can buy quality silver at
Brown Bear:I love you.  Is this video about to go viral on the Internet?
Tan Bear:Yes, but that's not the good news.  If silver reverts back to its historical ratio--and it will--and the JP Morgue squeezed silver is projected to hit $500 an ounce.
Brown Bear:[obnoxious spastic colon noise BRRRAAAAAPPPPPP!] I think I just sh*t my pants!
Tan Bear:Go buy a silver coin and bankrupt the JP Morgue.  The campaign has already begun.  Get it while its cheap.
Brown Bear:[obnoxious spastic colon noise BRRAAAAPPPPPP!]  I think I just sh*t my pants again.  $500 an ounce?  What was the website again?
Brown Bear:[obnoxious spastic colon noise BRRAAAPPPP!][cash register noise KA-CHING!][Brown Bear puts left paw over behind to check himself (for diarrhea?)]